FlirtyFetishes: BDSiM

# Cosmetic # Events # Gameplay # Skills # Socials # Traits

Updated: 2025-10-13

Hey! I'm EllaNoir! My BDSM mod for The Sims 4 is meant to not only bring kinky fun to your Sims, but a realistic vibe based on BDSM in real life! Below you can find the guide along with all the current features of FlirtyFetishes: BDSiM! I try to add new elements are added monthly!

The Flirty Sim’s Guide to BDSiM

A detailed walkthrough of how to play EllaNoir’s FlirtyFetishes: BDSiM, the BDSM mod for the Sims 4.

by EllaNoir

*This mod was created with no affiliation to The Sims 4 or EA Games. This mod is my creation and I do not give permission to anyone to sell this mod or claim as their own.

Getting Started

To begin FlirtyFetishes in-game, BDSiM Traits must be applied to your Sims. Without these traits, the BDSM features do not exist for your Sims.

Where are BDSiM Traits?

Sim traits based on BDSM can be found in both the Rewards Store for 1000 Satisfaction Points and in Wicked Attributes if Turbodriver's Wicked Whims is also installed.

The Rewards Store is found at the bottom right of the UI, under the Aspirations option. Select the Rewards Store tab to view and add the BDSiM Traits to your Sims.

Wicked Attributes is a feature from Wicked Whims, the groundbreaking TS4 mod created by Turbodriver. Wicked Whims mod must be installed to apply BDSiM Traits with Wicked Attributes. Click the Sim you wish to add the BDSiM Traits to, and select the "Wicked Whims" menu. Then click "Personalization">"Wicked Attributes">Give Wicked Attributes. Your selection of BDSM traits for your Sims is now available and with no cost.

BDSiM Traits Lists

The BDSM-based Sim traits (typically) fall into one of two roles: Dominant Role or submissive Role. Traits under the Dominant Role show interests in dominance and behave accordingly.

BDSiM Traits of the Dominant Role:

Assertive: Direct, Dominant, Calculated, Psychological
Demeaning: Degrading, cold,
Goddess: Divine, Initiate Sissification
Sadist: inflicts pain, such as spanking

Of the submissive Role:

Brat: disobedient
Degraded: enjoys humiliation
Eager: submissive and willing
Masochist: enjoys pain
Sissy: enjoys degradation with forced femineity

Other BDSiM Traits:

Switch: The ability to experience both Traits: Eager and Assertive--great for Sims within the Exclusive .package who want to be both Dominant and submissive Roles!

BDSiM Insight: Deeper intuition toward BDSiM feelings and emotions, requires aftercare

About BDSiM Traits

If for any reason you wish to change a Sim's Role, remove the traits and add the counter traits. I am creating a simpler way to change this.

Once BDSiM traits are added to your Sims, they are ready to engage in BDSiM events, conversations, and use BDSiM Skill books.

Reminder: The ExclusiveTraits .package means Sims can only have one type of BDSiM Traits: Dominant Role OR submissive Role.

*If you have WW installed, you may use the Global option to disperse BDSiM Traits to NPCs in your world.

Did you know? NPCs who witness BDSiM in public and do not have any BDSiM traits, can react differently based off their current personality?

BDSiM Skills

The majority of the BDSiM Traits have 1+ skill available to increase. Increasing a trait's skill will unlock new Social Interactions based on the trait's essence. Each Trait Skill has a maximum level of 5. Once this skill is maxed, a Reward Trait will be rewarded. Skill books are also available for qualifying traits. Purchase all BDSiM Skill books from the bookcase.

Dominant & submissive Role Skills

Skill books for the Dominant Role and submissive Role are also available. The Dominant and submissive skills have a maximum level of 10. Completing these skills will reward the Traits: Master, Mistress (depending on the gender choices chosen), or slave.

Receive the Master/Mistress and slave Traits by maxing out the Dominant and submissive Skills to collar or be collared! Only Sims with Master or Mistress Traits can collar a Sim. Only sims with slave Trait can be collared.

*Reward Traits are only badges right now, and will have more added to them soon.

Social Interactions

To engage with another Sim using any of the BDSiM Socials from any BDSiM Trait, the target Sim must have at least one BDSiM Trait of the opposite role. For example, your Sim has the Assertive Trait. This trait is of the Dominant Role. For your Sim to use Assertive Social Interactions with that sexy little redhead over there, they will need to first learn if the redheaded Sim has any submissive Role traits. If the target redhead is submissive, then your Sim can use all the Assertive Interactions they have unlocked!
A Sim can learn if another Sim is in a D/s Dynamic as well if they have any BDSiM Traits in the BDSiM Pie Menu.
Some BDSiM Traits have Social Interactions that are unlocked as the Sim progresses its skill. These traits are: Assertive, Eager, Demeaning, Degraded, and Switch, respectively. The remaining traits require more additions until they have this feature.
While some BDSiM Social Interactions are repurposed using EA's animations, many others now perform custom animations made by my animator, Marysal. New animations are added with every update!
*Sissy Trait does not have any Social Interactions at this time. More will be added in the future as well as for Sadist, Goddess, Masochist, and Brat.
Performing BDSiM Social Interactions with the counter target Sim will increase the two Sims' BDSiM relationship track. The BDSiM Track is a simple way for the mod to keep track on when, how, and with whom BDSiM activities were performed. The track is neutral and does not affect the Sims' Romance track. The interaction awareness will make for fun buffs, sentiments, and moods to appear as I continue to grow this system.

Moods & Buffs

FlirtyFetishes includes Moods unique to each BDSiM Trait. Engaging in BDSiM activities, like BDSiM Social Interactions, will affect your Sims’ moods. This immerses the Player further into their Sim's fun as they become aware of why their Sim is in that type of mood. The mood even has a possibility to increase into a stronger variant!

*The Switch Trait will experience the Assertive moods and the Eager moods.

Most BDSiM Traits come with two levels of their BDSIM Moods, the initial mood which can be increased to the advanced mood. Some BDSiM Traits only have one mood like the Masochist Trait. While the Sissy Trait does not have this feature yet. (These traits will have their own BDSiM Moods soon!)

As Sims partake in BDSiM fun, buffs (also known as moodlets) will appear in the UI to give more detail on why your Sim is experiencing their moods.

Relationships

When two Sims with any BDSiM Trait(s) meet for the first time, this automatically prompts a new relationship line. This is a neutral scale to keep track of any future interactions. This will bring some new and unique elements coming soon.

Ds Dynamic: Creating a D/s Dynamic is for Sims who are interested in committing more time together in the BDSiM Lifestyle. There are no requirements needed to create this relationship. Sims may also be in multiple D/s Dynamics at a time. Whether there is jealousy...well, that is up to the Dom/me to decide what to do about. However, with recent TS4 and/or if you are using WickedWhims or MCCC, you can disable jealousy globally or individually.

Contract: When two Sims sign the Contract of Consent, they are consenting on paper their commitment to their contrasting roles to themselves, and each other. As of now, there isn't much more this feature than the title. However, with the new systems I have created, a lot more can be expected for this in the future.

Ownership: Once a Sim has maximized the Dominant Skill, they are awarded the Master/Mistress Trait. This unlocks the ability to collar any Sim with the slave Trait. Once the slave has been collared by the Mas/Mis, the Mas/Mis now has Ownership of the slave.

To end D/s Dynamic or Ownership, the option can be found in the relative pie menu.

Collaring a Sim

Once a Sim is a Master or Mistress, they have the ability to collar a Sim with the slave trait. A Sim with a maxed submissive Role skill will be awarded the slave trait, and thus, can be collared by any Sim with the Master/Mistress Traits.

To initiate collaring a Sim, there are two choices. Having a Collaring Ceremony is a great way to invite other Sims to witness the collaring of the slave-to-be! In the Social menu on your phone, select "Create Social Event". Select the event titled "Collaring Ceremony".

Plan An Event

You will then be asked who is the Master/Mister and who is the slave along with any guests, a musician, and bartender. Once you have decided who is coming, you are able to select the Collar Ceremony's location.

Click the check mark at the bottom right corner to confirm the Collaring event. Whether the ceremony is a scheduled future event or one that begins instantly, new Social Interactions will appear exclusive to the Collaring Ceremony.

If you selected "Goal," then you will find a list of objectives to the left for you to complete. The more you complete, the higher your Party Reward will be. Rewards at this time are only money.

Collar Sim

To collar your Sim, the Master/Mistress only needs to click on the Sim and will find the option to "Collar slave" in the Master or Mistress pie menus.

After the Mas/Mis has collared their slave, the two are then in a relationship called "Ownership".

*Sims MUST be "Master/Mistress" and "slave" to COLLAR and BE COLLARED.

Moving sub In

Once a D/s D has been created and the Contract of Consent has been signed, your sub will have the option to move in with the Dominant Sim via the Dom/me's request. Find the option under the "D/s Dynamic" pie menu. Clicking on it will take to you through the same "Move-in" options existing already.

Training Session

The BDSiM Training Session is a Social Event found in the Social category on your Sim's phone. Any Sim with any BDSiM Trait can create BDSM Training events in the Sims 4. The Training Session immerses Sims into the deliciously depraved world of BDSiM with the encouragement to indulge in their darker cravings. Whether your Sims are experienced or just beginning, don't forget each Training Social Interaction increases the Major BDSiM Skills: Dominant and Submissive. It's makes training as hot as it is educational!

Begin BDSiM Training Session

To begin the BDSM Training Session for your Sims, open your phone and select the Social option then click on the "Create a Social Event" option. A list of events will be presented where you can scroll until you see the "BDSiM Training Session" event. Select the event by clicking on it and then click the arrow at the bottom right corner to continue.

*This BDSM event for training Sims starts out at the low price of 100 Simoleons. Now that's a BDSM Social Event that gives you a bang for your buck. So much banging, slapping, spanking, kneeling, choking on your...erm, well, you get the idea.

“In case you didn’t catch that...”

The BDSiM Training isn't meant to train only submissive Sims to submit and obey, but to also train the Dominant Sims to direct, use, and discipline, to progress the Dominant skill, and to earn the Dominant Sims closer to their sought-for honorific of "Master/Mistress.”

Choose the Sims for the BDSM Session of Training

Just as with any other event in the Sims 4 game, the menu to choose the Sims to be involved will concurrently appear.

There are two required positions to be filled when creating the Training event. The slot for the Dom/me Sim and the other slot for the submissive Sim.

You will see the slot for the Dominant Role is labeled, "Master" or "Mistress". The official Master/Mistress trait is not a requirement for Dominant Sims invited in a Training Session. However, Dominant Sims in training will be called temporarily "Master/Mistress" for training purposes. and "Sim to Train" for the submissive Sim.

Hiring NPC Sims for BDSiM Training

*(This Feature is currently undergoing maintenance.)

The Dominant Role Slot has the job title, "Dominus" for male gender choice or "Domina" for female gender choice. Up to 2 Sims may be selected for this position. *FYI: I chose these honorifics to add versatility to FlirtyFetishes and prevent every Dom/me title to be the same and give everyone a way to experience their preferred names.

The submissive Role job title is simply, "Sub for Hire." These are Sims available to hire are meant to submit to your Dominant Sims' commands, all for the sake of training.

Once these two jobs have been selected, the Player is able to select the BDSM Training Session's location and begin. Or, if the Player wishes to add extra Sims to the Training Session, there are two additional positions offered: a Dominant Role and a submissive Role.

These two slots invite extra Sims are optional. Sims with BDSiM Traits will appear in the respected Role slot and be available to invite. If your Sim does not know any Sims in either Role ISL(in sim life vs. in real life? No. Okay. You suck. I don't.) they can hire a Sim for 1000 instead.

*More Training Session Social Interactions for The Sims 4 are continually being made and added with each update.

If it's important to your Sims' to increase their Major BDSiM Skills, the Training Session is a reliable and consistent option. Your BDSiM skill will rise as surely as the subs rise when commanded to.

BDSiM Insight Trait

This trait gives Sims a deeper sense of their selves and others concerning BDSiM. They are affected by BDSiM Social Interactions and each interaction will decrease the Sim’s BDSiM Meter. The BDSiM Meter is a hidden commodity or need that fluctuates from 100 to -100, based on the Sim with the BDSiM Insight Trait actions and environment.

As a Sim engages with BDSiM Socials, the Meter decreases, causing negative buffs.

-25 : Potential Problem buff appears

-50 : Reality Check buff appears

-99 : SimDrop Incoming

-100 : Crash & Yearn - this buff will stay indefinitely as it is considered SimDrop and the most Aftercare is needed to recover!

You are able to preform Aftercare Socials at anytime if your Sims have the BDSiM Trait. To prevent SimDrop from occurring (-99 to -100 buffs), perform Aftercare Socials often, especially after BDSiM Socials.

Fun Extras

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this guide. I hope you enjoy FlirtyFetishes!

Creator’s Note:

There are plenty of things in FlirtyFetishes that are not yet completed. Some photos may be empty and there may be other elements that are lacking. Please understand that I am adding updates monthly to fill and grow this mod. Your patience is appreciated!
Your feedback is greatly valued so please let me know if there is anything you would like to see added or different. I am always happy to take most things into consideration.
And if you see anywhere that has a typo or is empty where there is mostly supposed to be a description or other writing, please let me know ASAP with a screenshot if possible!

*Troubleshooting: I am always happy to help resolve any issue that is affecting gameplay with FlirtyFetishes: BDSiM. But before you contact me, please take these steps first to save us both time and resolve the issue as soon as possible!

1. Is the .TS4SCRIPT file only ONE folder deep?

The bar in your File Explorer should look like the photo below:

2. Is your game updated? Are all your mods up to date—including FlirtyFetishes? Prove it.

3. Have you removed all your mods EXCEPT FlirtyFetishes and loaded the game to see if the issue still exists?

4. Have you read through this guide, like really read it, to see if maybe you are missing something?

5. If you have done steps 1-4 and the issue persists, then please contact to me! For the quickest response for support, contact me via Discord. If not, try X(Twitter) before LL. Whichever path you choose, I will do my best to get you and your Sims back on track!

Credits:

TURBODRIVER because duh.

Marysal: Creating the custom animations for FF!

Overseer Zara

S4S

TheSimKid

And of course, players like you. Thank you so much for being here!